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4.08.2010

Day 20

SUNS KICK SPURBUTT

Last night on Planet Orange...
Photo Courtesy of AZCentral.com


Last night, VIP and I jumped the light rail and headed DT for the best thing to hit Phoenix since my arrival in 1980. It just so happens to also double as my favorite DT activity.

VIP's first ride on the Light Rail

If you don't know anything about basketball, you're not that far behind me, so allow me to catch you up to my speed. The photo below should answer a lot of your questions.

Missi's List of 10 to Duly Note: B-BALL

1. Make a basket, get 2 points, then be fair and give the other guys a chance.

2. Make a basket from outside the semi-circle painted on the floor, get 3 points, and then give the other guys a chance while your fans squeal out of excitement for that 3 pointer you just made. You know it's hard to concentrate in an arena of 30,0000 screaming, stomping, chanting fans, which are different from regular people. A regular person is calm, cool, collected, and not dressed dual-chromatically. Fans think they have the right to get all up in your grill while wearing face paint and giant foam fingers. Note the difference.

3. Throw a tantrum on the court, get fouled, and the other team gets a free shot or two. It's the price you pay for PMS'ing during game time. Keep your cool, Nancy.

4. You only get the ball for so many seconds before you have to pass it or make a shot. I say, run the clock, give the already excited fans a heart attack on top of those seizures, and shoot just before the buzzer sounds.

5. You must keep your feet moving while dribbling the ball, otherwise the ref will make a "wheels on the bus go round and round" motion at you and you'll be fouled. Don't be a foul player.

6. There are two quarters per half. Each quarter is 12 real time minutes long, which is approximately 20 basketball minutes long. The few minutes between quarters is used for purchasing more overpriced beer and updating your Facebook status.

7. In between halves, locals VOLUNTEER to get their public crazy on during what is called "the halftime show". Show indeed. Last night I saw five old, balding, and slightly overweight men spank their own booties to Justin Bieber in a dance competition. This was preceded by three bearded men in giant blown up hamster balls racing across the court to settle a bet. Loser had to shave his face. I would have classified it as a train wreck as opposed to 'show', but the girl sitting in front of me was the train wreck of the evening. Ridiculous.

8. Wear your team colors proudly, it helps when riots start in the stands. Take heart to this rule especially if your team is opposite the Lakers. You'll thank me later.

9. Each team is assigned a basket to defend. At halftime, they trade baskets. I have no explanations for this, I just try not to forget this happens so I don't accidentally cheer for the other team and look like a fool. LIKE A FOOL!

10. Don't drink and riot. Don't drink and ride the light rail. Don't drink and chest bump your buddies. No one wants your vomit on their Converse. Don't be that guy.

Now that you're all caught up on the rules, you should also know that there are very few teams that I really want to lose. These guys work really hard on the court and no one wants to walk away a loser. However, I want all the teams to lose to the Suns, in particular: LA Lakers, San Antonio Spurs, Dallas Mavericks, and Chicago Bulls {that last one is thrown in there for the '93 Championship title}.

And last night... Suns 112 :: Spurs 101

Can I get a "What? what?!" That's right Spurbutts! Go back to Texas and tell 'em you LOST big. Thanks to this win, the Suns are 51:27, making for a three-way tie with Denver and Dallas for 2nd in the division, right behind those damn Lakers. And if anyone cares, the Spurs are now tied for 4th in the division at 48:30. BTW, those ratios are wins to losses.

Needless to say, while it was a late night, it was also a great night. I heart Nash!

This is me. 10 days before 30. Supporting my BF, #13

Dragic sealed their fate.

April 17th is where amazing happens. How did they know?

Chucks. 26th row from the floor.

Me & VIP. Game faces.

Strangely enough, our section won lightbulbs from APS.

Random Sunshine:
Only 10 days left! Weeeee!

Gratitude:
Our section won lightbulbs from APS. I never win anything at games. My section is never picked. It was quite exciting. Woot! The result: APS gave out free light bulbs, which takes care of this Sunday's 30 Before 30 adventure. Thanks APS!

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